Me…in a bathing suit.

DSCN0632Many years ago this picture was snapped unbeknownst to me. If I were to guess when it was, I would say it was sometime shortly after my divorce and before I met my husband…at least eight years ago. My headspace at the time was not great. I wasn’t truuuuly happy. I wasn’t totally right with God either. I was just in a weird, not good space. And I remember when I saw this picture after it was taken, I thought…”hmmm, I could stand to lose some weight.” Seriously?! I look at this picture now and think “wow, I looked pretty darn good!” Ha!

Do I still look like this???? Ummmm…yah, not so much! The thing is though, it’s ok because now I am pretty happy. I married an ah-mazing man, we have two children and I get to get personal with all of you here on my blog working from home while also spending some QT with my daughters! Oh and now, I AM pretty right with God. So much has changed with my body since that picture too! I got and survived Breast Cancer. Man, I had NO idea what my body was in store for after that whole insanity. I’m on a Breast Cancer medicine where the #1 side effect is weight gain. Yay! I’ve also had a second baby and I am older now too. So my body definitely doesn’t look the same…go figure. 😉 And I really, just don’t care about my outward appearance as much as I used to. Meaning, my priorities have just been in in other places. My husband, my children, my mom, traveling, having quality time with the people I love. Enjoying some champs when I want and maybe a cupcake…or two. Ha! Living life!

Recently though I have felt sluggish. I feel like I am tired alot and don’t have the energy like I used to and of course the icing on the cake (pun intended) is that I have also gained some extra lb’s. I was approached by a neighbor last summer about doing some sort of healthy fitness challenge thing with her but I was like “meh, no thanks cute little healthy runner neighbor girl.” lol (She knows I said that!) I just wasn’t in a place where I felt like making any kind of commitment like that. But a few weeks ago, many months later, I changed my mind. I reached out to her and said…’hey, I wanna try that healthy fitness challenge thing!”

Today is day four of said healthy fitness challenge thing and I wanna die. Ok not really but man, it is haaaaaard. Like really hard. And boy is it making me a crabby pants! It requires working out (with some help from my puppy-ha) and ifFile Feb 17, 9 08 46 AM you know me at all, I don’t work out as in, I don’t do the gym and you will never see me running down the street. Well unless Tom Hiddleston is at the other end. 😉 MY exercise is walking. Sometimes Yoga or Pilates and that’s on a good day. On top of that, the eating is pretty hard core too. They want you to eat VEGETABLES! Say WHAAAAAAT???? lol Again, if you know me at all, I don’t eat veggies either. Ugh and WHY did I think this was a good idea to start on the week BOTH kids are home for Winter Break???? But here I am telling you about this whole healthy fitness challenge thing for the SOLE reason that it makes it real if I share it with you guys. If I keep it a secret, which is what I was planning on doing, then noone would know if I succeeded or failed. And this blog is about always being real and transparent, so here I am.

So I am working on improving my eating habits and trying to fuel my body the right way. I guess Taco Bell is gonna have to miss me for a little while! I am getting my veggies in by working them into daily smoothies. I am trying a different workout every day and it’s killing me but I keep waking up and doing it again because I know it’s good for me! Will I lose weight? Will I lose inches? Maybe. Maybe not. But I do know that I have slept like a rockstar every night since I started because my body is getting the nutrients it needs AND the exercise it needs.

emptyI probably won’t be posting any before or after pictures though because that would suggest that I think I was not good “before” this healthy fitness challenge thing and that’s not the case. I just want to be a healthier and more energized version of myself. I am grateful for having this body that birthed two children. I am grateful for having this body that has survived Breast Cancer. I am grateful for this body that God gave me. Oh and I want to live to be 100 (yes, I want to be on that Smuckers jar on TV!) plus I want to be able to be a healthy example for my girls.

So there ya go friends. Will I make it to the end? Who knows. I hope so. But I hope there is no end…just me living a mostly healthy lifestyle and always trying to be the best version of myself.

XO Surviving Mommy

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