Many moons ago I got a divorce and it kinda sucked. Yep. I kinda sucked. He kinda sucked and divorce well, that definitely sucked. lol I don’t share many details because truthfully, that is between me and him and it’s in the past. But here is something I will share…today, we are good friends. Really! But we weren’t so much in the beginning. That being said, we always made it about our daughter Lily and we NEVER made it about a fight or about us in front of her. We didn’t really even fight necessarily, we just didn’t really have any sort of any relationship. Lily was so little at that time but never knew any of this because thankfully, we always uplifted each other up in front of her. So how did we get a friendship again?
It all started when I got diagnosed with Breast Cancer over five years ago. I was already well into my relationship with Eric (my now husband) and my previous husband (we’ll just call him PH, lol) and I were casual acquaintances, at best. When I was doing chemotherapy for my Breast Cancer, Eric gave me a book to read during chemo called The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry. A quick, short read but WOW, did it change my life. At that moment, I just decided to focus ONLY on positive, good and joyful things in every aspect of my life. That way of thinking has become a huge part of my life. Joy or as my tattoo says, La Joie De Vivre aka The Joy Of Living. I called PH the night after I read the book and said, “I’m sorry, please forgive me and please tell me what I need to do to make this better.” He said the same to me and that was it. Forgiveness. It was like a light switch for us both. Crazy!
Since then, we’ve done Halloweens, Thanksgivings, Christmas and all sorts of other dinners and many things… ALL together. He and my husband Eric even get along swimmingly. Most people in our lives think the whole thing is a little wacka-doodle-doo and sure, maybe it is, but it totally works for all of us. A few years ago, PH decided to move to Los Angeles (my hometown) to pursue his career and find his own joy. My old friends were sweet enough to welcome him and help him out in his new city! Although he doesn’t live here anymore, he and Lily Facetime all of the time and when PH comes back to visit, he stays with us. Yep. In our house. I have to give major props to my husband Eric for being the man that he is because this couldn’t and wouldn’t work for everyone. It was kind of like an unspoken agreement with us all, it’s about Lily, her well-being and her happiness. Nothing else. And yes, it is just that simple.
PH was here all week and Lily had a total blast! We all ate together, prayed together, rode bikes together and just hung out. For us, it’s “our normal” and I thank God every single day for it!
XO Surviving Mommy
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8