Why you shouldn’t burn bridges.

File May 03, 10 00 02 AMLast week one of my dearest friends Kristen called me up and asked me if I would fill in for her on her radio show while she was out for a few days spending some time with her sweet boys. Before I started Surviving Mommy full time, I had a local radio show here in Atlanta for 12 years. However, I’ve been gone from that radio world for the last year. When she asked me though, I didn’t hesitate for a second because I would do anything for her. She and I used to work together at my old radio station and many years later, we are still the bestest of friends. However, the one thing I neglected to mention, is that filling in for her would mean that I would also be working with my ex-boyfriend Jason, who I also worked with while we dated. (yah, not my smartest move-lol). Jason and Kristen do a morning radio show on the Atlanta radio station 94.9 The Bull. Now keep in mind, Jason and I dated many years ago. BUT, it ended badly. BAAAAADLY. As in the kind of break up that Taylor Swift writes songs about badly. HOWEVER, that was many years ago and we’ve since seen each other and are totally fine. In fact, we laugh about it now.

While we were doing the show together, he apologized on the radio (and off) for his part in our break up. He actually said the words…I am sorry! Now thinkFile May 03, 9 59 14 AM back to the blog I just posted recently about forgiving someone if they have never said the words “I’m sorry.” Thankfully, I had already forgiven him many many years ago but it was really nice to hear him actually say the words I am sorry. While working with him we started talking about life and burning bridges. How it’s never a good idea to treat people badly in general but especially in the workplace because you never know when your paths may cross again. It’s not so unlikely to run into someone you dated I guess but to actually work with them…well, that’s a different story. Thankfully, we have grown up and have moved so far forward from that relationship that it was truly a fun couple of days working together. There was no uncomfortableness or awkwardness at all.

But while talking about life and burning bridges with him, it got me to thinking. How many people over the course of your life, who are NOT currently in your life now, can you truly say it wouldn’t be awkward or uncomfortable if you ran into them. It got me to do some deeeeep thinking. I came to the conclusion that I don’t know that I really have any. I can think of a few situations that didn’t end the way I would have liked, but I don’t harbor any bitter resentment or ill will and I would not feel uncomfortable if I ran into them. I’d probably feel more nostalgic if anything.

Let’s see…I had a friend I used to work with who had some serious problems he had to work through and that friendship was pretty toxic for me so unfortunately, I had to disconnect from it but if I saw him today, I would wish him well. My husband and I have had TWO couple friendships that ended not perfectly. Although does any friendship really END perfectly?! 🙁 One where the husband was not so great to my husband and because of that I also lost my friendship with his wife. As sad as it made me, I have nothing but good thoughts for them and their new family. We had another couple who we were also very close with but over time we just drifted apart. For that particular friendship, unfortunately, I think they may have left not having positive thoughts about us though because they blocked us all over social media but I truly don’t have any bad thoughts about them either. Really. They are good people and sadly, it just didn’t work out. It goes back to what one of my best friends told me long ago…people come into your life for a reason, a season or forever. Each of those friendships meant so much to me at the time and brought something wonderful into my life so I don’t have any regrets, I just have a grateful heart for them ever being there in the first place.

kindnessIt’s really about being kind. I say this to my daughters every day. Have courage and be kind (Yes, I loved that line in the new Cinderella movie). But it’s true. Life is too short to be filled with regret, anger or bitterness. We are called to have a forgiving heart and show grace and I want to have that with everyone in my life and I hope and pray they would have it with me. Because Lord knows, as I have said before…I am not perfect. But if you try and be kind to everyone you meet, then I guess you never have to worry about burning bridges.

XO Surviving Mommy

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